I have since learned that it isn’t recommended to compare your work with published authors, especially when you have only been writing for a few months.  There is always a learning curve.  Once I realized that, I calmed down.  Of course I couldn’t write like my heroes.  Not yet, anyway!   I’m hoping time, writing classes and a critique group will help me sort out the problems with my writing.

Something else that is ill advised for a new writer is to show your work to family and friends, especially if you want an honest critique.  Naturally, that is the first thing I did.  You know they all loved it.  It was hard to believe I was that good, especially after I reread my two chapters.  I tried to think only about the parts I felt were successful and ignore the rest but it wasn’t working very well.  Though there were areas in my work that I loved, a lot of it just didn’t flow.  I knew something was wrong but couldn’t figure out what.  An online workshop nailed one of the problems for me.  Back Story!

My characters are dear to me.  So, naturally, I wanted my readers to know all about them and their interesting lives right away.  Boring.  Readers want to get into the story as quickly as possible.  They crave action.  When I read a story with too much description in the beginning, I start turning pages.  Description, blah, blah, blah.  What happens next?

There are many great articles that discuss grabbing your readers’ interest at the beginning, and then gradually inserting the background as you go.  I read them.  They helped.  Online groups have been awesome.  So many writers are willing to share the secrets of their craft.  One group, in particular, Sisters in Crime, has afforded me invaluable opportunities to discuss my work.  I had the idea that a writer should intuitively know how to write.  Kind and caring people slowly disabused me of that idea.  Writing is a craft to be learned.

Of course, my first drafts still have to be condensed, condensed, condensed, and condensed some more.  The good news is that, as I write that first draft with all the extra baggage, it seems to help me set the scene in my mind.  I’d like to tell you that my writing improved from that point on.  Not a bit of it.  I absorbed all that wonderful advice about getting into the story and dispensing with the long descriptions, and went in the opposite direction, cutting out practically all the description.  What I’m working on now is balance.  Balance between character description, scene setting and action.  I’ve just started my fifth chapter.   Someone recently asked me how long I thought it would take to write this book.  My naïve response, “At least a year.”  Oh yeah, at least a year, maybe, for the first draft.  Let’s just say that I am not concerned with learning how to write a query letter any time soon.

For a few months I did nothing, thinking about my story every now and again.  Finally, I decided I would either do something about the book or forget it entirely.  I didn’t want to forget it so I set aside a weekend to go away and be by myself with nothing but my laptop, paper and pens.  Before I set out, I went to the bookstore and bought three books on how to write a mystery.

What happened that weekend still surprises me.  I settled down to read some of the books on mystery writing.  They inspired me.  A chapter in one of the books dealt with the beginning sentence.   The beginning.  That was where I would start.  I set aside my fears and plunged in.  A few hours later, I had my first few paragraphs written.  They were OK.  Actually I thought they were more than OK so I pushed on.

Here is where the surprises come in.  The first surprise is that I didn’t expect to love my first paragraph.  That paragraph is the most satisfying thing I have ever written.  It told me that I might actually end up writing a novel.  The second unbelievable turn of events was that the novel I was writing had NOTHING at all to do with the outline I had so carefully crafted.  The protagonist was 25 years younger than the original and the setting was completely different.  Once I started writing, the story took over.

Now that I had a good opening, I should have stopped and read a little more.  But, I was on a roll.  Once I started writing, it didn’t seem like it was very hard to do at all.  Not until I re-read what I had written did I realize I was wrong.  I was perplexed.  Everything after the first few paragraphs was awful.  It was all interesting stuff but it seemed to drag.  What could be wrong?  When I got back to my reference books  (by that time there were considerably more than three), I discovered one of the problems.

Up to now, my writing has centered on knowledge taken from my computer training career and little tidbits from my life.  Those articles have been circulated through my newsletter, my newspaper column, and blog so that I can pass along to others what I have learned.

For the past few months I have been writing something completely different.  My spare time has almost always been filled with reading.  My favorites are  mysteries and thrillers.  So, I thought i’d  jump in and see if I could write a mystery of my own.

What I have learned is amazing.  Having an idea for a story has almost nothing to do with putting that story on paper.  So, I subscribed to  magazines on writing, bought a couple of books and started to read while I composed my masterpiece.

Nineteen books later, I am less than a quarter of the way into my mystery.  I joined three online writing groups because I can’t find a regular writing group in my area.  And, I enrolled in a mystery writer’s workshop.   Thanks to advice from those in the writing groups and critiques from the workshop, my writing is getting a little better.  I have, however, put aside any plans for a book publishing date.

Because I find this whole process exciting, I have decided to share it as I go along, the good moments as well as the head bangers.  Maybe some of you can relate.

During the years with our “fake” tree we had some very special friends with us.  There was Coco, a black toy poodle who loved Christmas.  He believed that any gifts under the tree whether dog toys, treats or people food were his and promptly opened them.  After Coco, our loneliness prompted us to adopt Mickey, Charlie, and Annie: white and red toy poodles respectively, and an orange and white kitty.   Having learned our lesson with Coco, we didn’t fill their stockings until Christmas morning.

We did have one interesting surprise that Christmas with Annie.   Before we adopted her, Annie must have been an outdoor kitty because she was constantly trying to escape.  So, for Annie, on that first Christmas, her favorite present turned out to be the Christmas tree itself.  As we left to get the decorations, Annie commandeered our little tree.   Coming back into the room, my husband and I noticed bent branches on the tree and then the funniest sight.  Our plump little Annie was precariously clinging to a very unsteady branch.  Even though it was a “fake” tree and the branches didn’t really support her, Annie was happy, she had climbed a tree.  Thankfully, once we had the tree trimmed, Annie gave up her tree-climbing activities.  So, for the next 14 years, we were able to enjoy our little tree.

After the last of our wonderful friends had gone, my husband and I decided to think seriously before opening our hearts to another animal.  The loss of a beloved pet is so painful.   For two years we made it without adopting another pet.  I’m sure it could have gone even longer if fate hadn’t intervened.

Our son called us one day to announce that his two kitties each had produced a litter of kittens.  They now had five adorable fur balls who needed homes.   Of course, the minute we saw them we were lost.  We chose one from each litter.  Sammy, a black short hair, the runt of one litter, had to be bottle fed until he was 8 weeks old.  Jasper is a much larger long hair tabby who loves to talk to himself and has a huge fluffy tail.  Each one is special to us.  Their personalities are completely different, yet they get along beautifully.  To say they are spoiled is an understatement.  My husband and I are completely under their paws.

Our home has become a great big kitty playpen.  The floors are littered with cat toys, boxes, paper bags, and balls made of tinfoil.  There is nothing in the house that they don’t consider to be a toy including me and my husband.  Little by little we had to get rid of our plants.  Any kind of green living thing (even something dried) is either a snack or a toy.  Favorite knickknacks have to be put away and anything with a trailing end like a belt, tie or necklace must be protected.  Our life has changed drastically.

Along with all the other changes in our home, we now have to face the fact that trying to have a Christmas tree would be sheer folly.  Just the tree itself would present these felines with hours and hours of pleasure.  If, by some miracle, we could save the tree, strings of lights (blinking at that) would be doomed.  As for ornaments, let the games begin!  Those lightening quick paws would be into them in seconds.  And I shudder to think what they would do with tinsel.

So, for the first time in our marriage, we will have a Christmas without a tree.  Will we miss our tree?  Yes, we certainly will, but we have both decided that the pleasure derived from two fresh little kitties named Sammy and Jasper will more than make up for our perceived deprivation.  This Christmas our presents will include cold noses, warm bodies, furtive attacks and laughter generated by two furry clowns…so much better than a “fake” Christmas tree.

My husband, the traitor, has decided that this winter will not be so bad. He is actually looking forward to the snow. Last year his moans and groans rent the air before the shoveling even began. But this year he has a new toy, a 10-horse power snow blower, guaranteed to take care of all kinds of snow.

So what? Will a snow blower take care of my smooth and slippery nemesis? Does anyone care that black ice haunts my dreams? Winter will not change her personality simply because we have a snow blower. What about waking up to mornings where just opening your eyes is a frigid shock, getting out of bed sets up a violent assault on your warm and sleepy body, and jumping into the shower is tantamount to the cruelest form of torture?

Winter has never been my preferred season and because of that, autumn has always suffered in my mind. This year, however, I am attempting to enjoy and appreciate the bright, cool persona that is fall. From falling chestnuts to outrageous giant chrysanthemums, I have been savoring autumn’s offerings. I’ve even penned a few Haikus (small poems) about unique and beautiful autumn trademarks. Perhaps, with more effort, I can completely change my negative autumn vibes to something positive, more suitable to a truly gorgeous season. I do believe it’s time to give autumn her due.

For instance, I teach Microsoft Office.  Most of the classes I teach still use Office 2003.  But, when I work with individuals in their homes, many have upgraded to Office 2007.  My mind balked at the predicament this afforded me.  First, I would have to relearn Office and second, I would have to have both versions of Office, 2003 and 2007, on my computer.  All the distress I felt over this change didn’t alter the fact that I had to adjust both my mind and my software.  I finally solved the software problem but continued to rail in my mind at the Microsoft programmers.  It did me no good.  I had to acquiesce.

Today I can appreciate the innovations incorporated in Office 2007.  I can also appreciate why I found it so hard to accept the changes.  For the past five or six years, I have been using Office 2003.  My mind sorts through the intricacies of the 2003 Office programs with ease.  I have complete confidence in my abilities.  Now, however, with 2007, my knowledge and confidence levels are much less.  Knowing that I can find what I am looking for in a minute or two is not the same as having the answer immediately.  And, sometimes, I don’t even know the answer and have to look it up.  It is at those times that the dark thoughts about Office 2007 surface.  “Why couldn’t they just leave it alone?”  “How will I ever know this version the way that I knew 2003?”

Accepting who I am with all my imperfections is very difficult.  In my mind, I want to be perfect.  I worry what people will think of me, what the changes might cost me.  I don’t want to be rousted from my comfort zone.  The idea that change could be a good thing can be hard to swallow but it is true.  Change comes about as the result of new discoveries, new ideas, and new technology.  For the most part, it changes our lives for the better.  Unfortunately, change can still be somewhat frightening for me although that kind of thinking is shifting.

Something else I have discovered is that it isn’t all about me!  Change is often viewed as alarming or inconvenient to the majority of people who have the same kind of reactions as I do.  Those reactions are normal.  Change is not supposed to be easy.  The “changers” are usually the only ones who like it.  I’m sure the Microsoft programmers love their 2007 version of Office and are surprised with all the dissenters.

Acceptance is acknowledging and trying to understand what it happening. It is truly the least painful avenue to deal with change.  First I have to accept that the change is here; I can’t alter that fact.  Then, I try to realize that I am not alone in my assessment of the situation; many others are feeling my frustration.   The next step is to recognize that there is nothing I can do about it.  Finally, I need to discover how to work with the change in my life.  Once I stop fighting and accept the change, my anxiety decreases and my life becomes easier.  Change is inevitable and sometimes a good thing.

Kittens get into everything!  As I sit here looking at my office, I gradually see it in a different light.  Those blinking lights on the router will just whet their appetite.  The wires, of course, will present a marvelous challenge.  We won’t need to buy them toys once they find the pens and pencils on my desk.  Papers will have to be put away.  And hiding places are everywhere…shelves, bookcases, printers, waste baskets, even my briefcase.  How can I kitten-proof my office?

Oh, our life is going to change.  Two tiny little fur balls are going to keep us on our toes.  Now that I have started this inventory, I am loath to think about the rest of the house.  How many dangers lurk in this formerly happy and comfortable domain?  What kinds of adjustments will we need? 

Having two adorable kittens cavorting around the house seemed like such a great idea a few hours ago; now I’m going into panic mode.  Whose idea was this, anyway?  Oh right, it was mine.  All our other animals were adopted when they were a little older.  This is going to be completely different. 

On the other hand, kittens grow up rather quickly and then we will miss their sweet little antics.  In the meantime, we can handle a few kitten capers.  I’m sure it won’t be as crazy as I envision it.  After all, they do sleep a lot.  But, just in case, I’m going to keep the office door closed.

Twitter has changed all that.  The information I crave can be found within a Twitter keyword search.  I was amazed at the quality of the information I was receiving.  Not only is there a sufficient quantity but it is exactly what I requested.  Hard to believe?  Here is how it’s done.

Once you institute your keyword search, Twitter examines millions of posts for the word(s).  The results are then presented to you en masse.  However, they are presented chronologically so that the most recent is first.  Now you have pertinent and timely data.  It is presented with the name and often photo of the person posting the information and there is usually a link to take you to the source.  

Now all you have to do is open a few Tweets for each person posting and decide if their contribution fits your expectations.  When you find someone who has really discovered a great resource, then you Follow them.  Following someone means that all their posts show up at your site for your perusal.  You can utilize the link, save the post to your favorites to read later or delete it.  So far, I have found a couple of well informed and helpful people to follow and I know it is just the beginning.  There are undoubtedly countless others whose interests mirror mine.  I just have to look.

For me Twitter is all about the research and the comforting knowledge that there is someone else out there, actually many ones out there, who share my interests and ongoing quest for value in content.

Leave a post and tell me about your Twitter Experiences.

As a newbie Twitterer, I wanted to alert EVERYONE about my fresh new status on the internet.  I felt so hip when I emailed to tell my granddaughter.  Rather than the “Cool” I expected, she asked me if it was one of those chat room things like MySpace.  She went on to say that they had a presentation in school on Cyberbullying and MySpace, Face Book and Twitter were mentioned. 

Horrors!  What had I done?  My immediate gut reaction was that I was doing something wrong, something that could hurt my granddaughter.  Of course, I realized that was foolish and that due to its enormity of reach and ease of use social networking does, indeed, have some terrible problems.  I should know this because I faithfully watch all the crime dramas on TV.  Somehow, in my thinking, they lose their instruction and live in my mind as good, although scary, stories.  The fact that they portray the real world doesn’t seem to compute.  Last night, however, it hit home. 

I have two beautiful granddaughters, 14 and 10, and I become more terrified for them every day.  Our world can be extremely harsh and unforgiving and we as parents, grandparents, family and friends need to be intricately attuned to the dangers surrounding those we love.  To that end, I will be researching the topic of CyberBullying all over the internet and immediately through Twitter, the very site that brought it to my attention. 

Yes, the internet hides some very dangerous and sinister places but the majority of its world holds hopeful and helpful knowledge.  Those of us who use this technological wonder (there was no internet when I was growing up) need to be aware of and keep apprised of those who use it to create chaos, fear and pain.  I intend to work and research so I can be a more savvy grandparent.

In a group discussion, you put your thoughts out there and people comment on those thoughts, adding their own input and perhaps changing the direction of the discussion.  This conversation can then take on a life of its own, swaying with the myriad speakers involved. 

In addition, taking part in a discussion feels better than answering a question and taking the chance that it may be the wrong answer.  What did the person asking the question actually want in an answer?  Might you have read the question wrong?  Will your answer look foolish when others answer the same question?  Question and answer sessions often engender feelings dragged up from the classroom and may generate the resultant anxiety.   Discussions are less severe.  They are just about people exchanging ideas.

LinkedIn not only provides a list of current groups but offers users the option of beginning their own group.  My suggestion is to decide what type of group would best suit your aims and then go about finding the right friends and colleagues to people it.  And, have fun!